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it's that tightening in your chest the pain clenching and unclenching as your lungs fight for the oxygen so desperately
there's a barrier slotted down sharp against your tongue blocking the passageway from the outside into the lungs
air stops abruptly hitting this invisible wall and crumbling down gathering like ash from a molten volcano in your mouth
dizziness swirls around and inside your head the pressure too much like a vice clamping down on your skull
thoughts so scattered as they flutter to the still open spaces not being invaded by this sudden vicious presence
black spots dance in your vision your brain as starved as your lungs and you gasp and sink and still there is nothing
fists clenched tight the skin of your palms splitting open in moon crescent shapes as nails dig in
you blink and tears slither tiny drops escaping and making tracks down your cheeks red and blotchy
the dark stark crimson swelling in your cheeks and in your eyes a vivid contrast against the white of your skin
your whole body revolting as you try desperately to force your mind to take back control and fix it
fix the pain and the hate and the ever ending flood of bad thoughts and gasps for air and bleeding palms
(and deep inside the confines of your mind you're thinking maybe just this once it wouldn't be so bad to give in)
there's a barrier slotted down sharp against your tongue blocking the passageway from the outside into the lungs
air stops abruptly hitting this invisible wall and crumbling down gathering like ash from a molten volcano in your mouth
dizziness swirls around and inside your head the pressure too much like a vice clamping down on your skull
thoughts so scattered as they flutter to the still open spaces not being invaded by this sudden vicious presence
black spots dance in your vision your brain as starved as your lungs and you gasp and sink and still there is nothing
fists clenched tight the skin of your palms splitting open in moon crescent shapes as nails dig in
you blink and tears slither tiny drops escaping and making tracks down your cheeks red and blotchy
the dark stark crimson swelling in your cheeks and in your eyes a vivid contrast against the white of your skin
your whole body revolting as you try desperately to force your mind to take back control and fix it
fix the pain and the hate and the ever ending flood of bad thoughts and gasps for air and bleeding palms
(and deep inside the confines of your mind you're thinking maybe just this once it wouldn't be so bad to give in)
credityou started staring at the walls again and the pictures turned back into empty frames
your sense will go before your looks leave you and in time the ones you love will leave you too
dreams are not how they seemed back when you were young you lost your way and you couldn’t overcome
the times you’d hide what’s been building up inside cause dreams aren’t how they seemed when you were young
i saw the colours drained from your veins through the teeth of leeches
Time takes it all.
Whether you want it to or not,
time takes it all away, time bares it away.
And in the end, there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.
Whether you want it to or not,
time takes it all away, time bares it away.
And in the end, there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.
It's funny. Your worst nightmare always seems so far away.
Then, all of a sudden, there it is, like a monstrous tidal wave.
You try to escape, but you can't.
You struggle and you struggle and you struggle,
your desperate cries unheard.
Then, something strange happens, you stop struggling.
Your cries take flight. You forget you're drowning.
Then, all of a sudden, there it is, like a monstrous tidal wave.
You try to escape, but you can't.
You struggle and you struggle and you struggle,
your desperate cries unheard.
Then, something strange happens, you stop struggling.
Your cries take flight. You forget you're drowning.
MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION
Sherman Alexie
When I was nine, my father sliced his knee
With a chainsaw. But he let himself bleed
And finished cutting down one more tree
Before his boss drove him to EMERGENCY.
Late that night, stoned on morphine and beer,
My father needed my help to steer
His pickup into the woods. “Watch for deer,”
My father said. “Those things just appear
Like magic.” It was an Indian summer
And we drove through warm rain and thunder,
Until we found that chainsaw, lying under
The fallen pine. Then I watched, with wonder,
As my father, shotgun-rich and impulse-poor,
Blasted that chainsaw dead. “What was that for?”
I asked. “Son,” my father said. “Here’s the score.
Once a thing tastes blood, it will come for more.”
Sherman Alexie
When I was nine, my father sliced his knee
With a chainsaw. But he let himself bleed
And finished cutting down one more tree
Before his boss drove him to EMERGENCY.
Late that night, stoned on morphine and beer,
My father needed my help to steer
His pickup into the woods. “Watch for deer,”
My father said. “Those things just appear
Like magic.” It was an Indian summer
And we drove through warm rain and thunder,
Until we found that chainsaw, lying under
The fallen pine. Then I watched, with wonder,
As my father, shotgun-rich and impulse-poor,
Blasted that chainsaw dead. “What was that for?”
I asked. “Son,” my father said. “Here’s the score.
Once a thing tastes blood, it will come for more.”
im terrified of the past and the present and the future
im terrified of love and hate of hope and hopelessness
im terrified of the big things and the little things and the things in between
im terrified of what will come next and what wont
im human after all and its human nature to be afraid
if youre not afraid than youre not living and if youre not living youre nothing
(most of all im terrified of living and im terrified of being nothing)
im terrified of love and hate of hope and hopelessness
im terrified of the big things and the little things and the things in between
im terrified of what will come next and what wont
im human after all and its human nature to be afraid
if youre not afraid than youre not living and if youre not living youre nothing
(most of all im terrified of living and im terrified of being nothing)
trust no one
It's a really harsh experience when the one person who you've always looked up to, who you were certain would always be there for you, is the one who has hurt you the most (over and over without caring or realizing that consequences do exist). You've known for years how horrible they were, how shitty their behaviour was. But you always thought, just maybe it will change. One day they'll be okay and you'll be okay and everything will go back to the way it used to be. False hope is all it was-and you knew it, the whole fucking time, that everything was always going to be lies and distrust-but love throws a veil over everything, trying to hide the hate under it.
Betrayal is a symptom and it fucking sucks.
It's a really harsh experience when the one person who you've always looked up to, who you were certain would always be there for you, is the one who has hurt you the most (over and over without caring or realizing that consequences do exist). You've known for years how horrible they were, how shitty their behaviour was. But you always thought, just maybe it will change. One day they'll be okay and you'll be okay and everything will go back to the way it used to be. False hope is all it was-and you knew it, the whole fucking time, that everything was always going to be lies and distrust-but love throws a veil over everything, trying to hide the hate under it.
Betrayal is a symptom and it fucking sucks.
http://fav.me/d18a40and darkness is fading in and darkness is real
oh my eyes oh closing slowly i try
http://fav.me/d62n5r7and i can feel the pull begin i feel my conscience wearing thin
and my skin it will start to break up and fall apart
http://fav.me/d5kweq8 do you feel do you feel alone?
you're always broken
http://fav.me/d57oj07and i've been up for days
i finally lost my mind and then i lost my way
http://fav.me/d3f1fdxbut i can't seem to fly away
i'm feeling small tall and sick of it all and all i want to do is crawl
http://fav.me/dep8elfor every hand goes round the pain gets so damned loud
the hammer hits and i'm down trust no one
2 picspams+mix
a (slightly) darker stiles
[some songs may be seen as sterek (coughcough)]
Have you completely lost your mind?
a (slightly) darker stiles
[some songs may be seen as sterek (coughcough)]
Have you completely lost your mind?
I'm fine.
Alkaline Trio - In My Stomach
in this shadow i shrink and it knows i can't move i can't sleep
terrified by my own bloodshot eyes so i'll wait here and pray
i prayed that i was all wrong about prayer and i do know that this is truly tired
terrified by my own bloodshot eyes so i'll wait here and pray
i prayed that i was all wrong about prayer and i do know that this is truly tired
it still grows in my stomach like mold it keeps me just sick enough to stay home all alone
Frightened Rabbit - The Loneliness And The Scream
i have fallen in the forest did you hear me in the loneliness
oh the loneliness and the scream to prove to everyone that i exist
oh the loneliness and the scream to prove to everyone that i exist
in the loneliness oh the loneliness and the scream
to bring the blood to the front of my face again
to bring the blood to the front of my face again
Anberlin - Type Three
no one else here has conversations that drowned their head
sixteen is nothing and never will be til i am dead
sixteen is nothing and never will be til i am dead
daydream that the world stands still dancing through the fibers of time
maybe i just want to hold something that was never meant to be mine
i look to heaven to save me and you call me naïve
maybe i just want to hold something that was never meant to be mine
i look to heaven to save me and you call me naïve
All Time Low - Therapy
my ship went down in a sea of sound when i woke up alone i had everything
a hand full of moments i wished I could change
and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
i'm flesh and bone I'm a rolling stone And the experts say I'm delirious
give me therapy i'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling on everything
therapy you were never a friend to me and you can take back your misery
Of Monsters and Men - Slow Steady
i spend my night dancing with my own shadow and it holds me and it never lets me go
i move slow and steady but i feel like a waterfall yeah i move slow and steady
past the ones that i used to know my dear old friend take me for a spin
two wolves in the dark running in the wind i'm letting go but i've never felt better
passing by all the monsters in my head and i'm never ready cause i know i know i know
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Grim Goodbye
but you have no clue what my dreams could show you
and darkness is fading in and darkness is real
and darkness is fading in and darkness is real
oh my eyes oh closing slowly i try i can't can't win tell me what you see
i feel something deep inside me i feel deep inside me
i feel something deep inside me i feel deep inside me
lie as i try to steer clear and i try to stay sober
this is taking me over and my dreams complicate it
this is taking me over and my dreams complicate it
Foxboro Hot Tubs - Dark Side of the Night
there's a rain tonight falling from the sky
there's a liar's moon tonight the dark side of night
there's a liar's moon tonight the dark side of night
the secret chasm hole in my heart fire's raging on us burning like a scar
made of flesh and blood my soul's made of stone
my flame is burning out now darkness nightmares alone
my flame is burning out now darkness nightmares alone
Mumford and Sons - The Enemy
but i came and i was nothing and time will give us nothing s
so why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling
so why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling
give me hope in silence it's easier it's kinder
tell me not of heartbreak it plagues my soul plagues my soul
tell me not of heartbreak it plagues my soul plagues my soul
favourite teen wolf fanarts (from deviantart) :)
[click for bigger]
http://fav.me/d5emnya
http://fav.me/d64pj76
http://fav.me/d6965y2
http://fav.me/d62xdoj
http://fav.me/d5gwpd6
http://fav.me/d5ize4s
http://fav.me/d5muuhr
http://fav.me/d59k0v5
http://fav.me/d5cpccj
EVERY SINGLE (TW THING) LELIA HAS MADE <3
== http://lelia.deviantart.com/gallery/44107176 ==
[click for bigger]
http://fav.me/d5emnya
http://fav.me/d64pj76
http://fav.me/d6965y2
http://fav.me/d62xdoj
http://fav.me/d5gwpd6
http://fav.me/d5ize4s
http://fav.me/d5muuhr
http://fav.me/d59k0v5
http://fav.me/d5cpccj
EVERY SINGLE (TW THING) LELIA HAS MADE <3
== http://lelia.deviantart.com/gallery/44107176 ==
01-27 Teen Wolf; 28-30 Bates Motel; 31 Misfits; 32-37 Rookie Blue
38-40 Supernatural; 40-44 Star Trek TOS; 45 The Walking Dead
46-47 Ferris Bueller's Day Off; 48 Fight Club; 49-54 LOTR; 55 The Hobbit
56 Harry Potter;57 Into the Wild; 58-60 The Losers; 61 My Soul to Take
62 On the Road; 63 Hobo with a Shotgun; 64 Push; 65 The Green Hornet
66 Sunshine; 67 The Breakfast Club; 68 My Chemical Romance
38-40 Supernatural; 40-44 Star Trek TOS; 45 The Walking Dead
46-47 Ferris Bueller's Day Off; 48 Fight Club; 49-54 LOTR; 55 The Hobbit
56 Harry Potter;57 Into the Wild; 58-60 The Losers; 61 My Soul to Take
62 On the Road; 63 Hobo with a Shotgun; 64 Push; 65 The Green Hornet
66 Sunshine; 67 The Breakfast Club; 68 My Chemical Romance